{"id":209,"date":"2017-08-24T23:27:08","date_gmt":"2017-08-24T23:27:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mistertipster.org\/?p=209"},"modified":"2017-08-24T23:27:08","modified_gmt":"2017-08-24T23:27:08","slug":"how-can-i-stop-worrying-about-what-others-think-of-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mistertipster.org\/?p=209","title":{"rendered":"How can I stop worrying about what others think of me?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\"ThatsMe_20170824B\"\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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How can I stop worrying about what others think of me?<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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SHARE THIS PAGE WITH YOUR FRIENDS<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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TIPS for Being Yourself:<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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  • Spend some time figuring out who you really are. It may sound silly, but deep down inside you may not really be the person you\u2019re pretending to be. If you\u2019re pretending to be someone you\u2019re not just because you think everyone expects you to be that person, you\u2019re better off spending your energy being the person you were made to be! Not everybody will love you, but some will, and that\u2019s all you need. By the way, your personality and interests may change over time, so don\u2019t think you\u2019ll always be the exact person you are today. Be flexible and see what the future holds!<\/li>
  • Never, ever try and force yourself to become exactly like someone else. It\u2019s OK to have role models, but they aren\u2019t you. Adopt the best from what these people have to offer but never at the expense of being your best self.<\/li>
  • Find fun and appropriate ways to let the real you shine through. Add an item of clothing or other accent to reflect your personality and interests. With your parents\u2019 permission, decorate your room to remind you of who you really are. Let a notebook cover give a glimpse into the deeper you.<\/li>
  • Do battle with WOT syndrome: \u201cWhat Others Think.\u201d You will never be the person everyone else wants you to be, so don\u2019t bother trying. Yes, there are certain traits\u2014kindness, honesty, forgiveness, and others\u2014that will always serve you well. But if you\u2019re naturally shy, you may want to avoid running for class president. If jokes aren\u2019t your thing, don\u2019t try to become the class clown. Be yourself and don\u2019t spend your energy worrying about \u201cwhat others think.\u201d<\/li>
  • Find ways to discover more and more about whom you were made to be. Books, websites, teachers and other trusted adults can all give you more clarity about the real you. Explore subjects and activities that you think reflect your deepest interests. Ask an adult what they think your natural gifts and personality traits might be. Make finding out more and more about you an exciting adventure!<\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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    STORY<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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    Throw away the mask<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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    Trying to fit in made Olivia's life much too confusing<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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    by Olivia Gregory<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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    Why do you look like that?\u201d The first day I was asked this question is permanently etched into my mind. I was in first grade, coloring and minding my own business, when Amanda approached me. Her question caught me off guard and baffled my 6-year-old mind.<\/p>

    \u201cLike what?\u201d I managed to choke out.<\/p>

    \u201cLike that. Your hair and your skin and your face\u2014you just look . . . weird.\u201d<\/p>

    \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d I answered, and I honestly didn\u2019t. I hadn\u2019t even thought about it up till then.<\/p>

    Amanda went back to coloring with her friends, but the question stayed in my mind all day. As I was going home, I repeated it to my mother. \u201cWhy do I look like this?\u201d<\/p>

    My mother seemed baffled too. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>

    \u201cI look so different from the other kids.\u201d<\/p>

    \u201cBecause God wanted to make you extra-special,\u201d she replied.<\/p>

    That answer satisfi ed me as a little kid, but as I grew older I noticed there were other things that made me different. I definitely stood out among my peers. It wasn\u2019t long before I found out the real reason I had darker skin, fuller lips, more tightly coiled hair, and other differences. I was something called \u201cBlack,\u201d and most of my peers were something called \u201cWhite.\u201d Some of them were neither, but they were from such exotic places as Vietnam or Mexico or India. They seemed to fi t in with the \u201cWhite\u201d people more than I did. I looked like the complete opposite!<\/p>

    I was pretty self-conscious about it. I stayed quiet and tried to fade into the background. That was hard, because being \u201cthe smartest kid in class\u201d makes you almost impossible not to notice. Then I got glasses, and everyone would call me \u201cugly\u201d and \u201cnerd.\u201d<\/p>

    I started to get made fun of a lot. \u201cYou look like you stayed in the sun too long.\u201d \u201cYour lips look like they\u2019re swollen.\u201d My hair was the main thing they made fun of, and I\u2019d try to cover it up. I felt ashamed of how I looked. Every day I prayed, God, please make me look different!<\/p>

    My mother didn\u2019t know how I was feeling, but she always used to call me \u201cbeautiful.\u201d<\/p>

    It never made me feel any better, because . . .<\/p>

    well . . . it was coming from my mom. I always wished that someday it could come from someone else. I continued to live in the shadows until fourth grade, when I met Lauren and Natalie. They looked like me in some ways but like the other kids in other ways. Now that I\u2019m older, I know the proper term for them is \u201cbiracial,\u201d but we always used to call them \u201czebras\u201d\u2014Black and White. They accepted the term, though.<\/p>

    Even though they were Black and White, everyone seemed to accept that Natalie counted as \u201cWhite.\u201d She\u2019d hang around the other kids, act like them, and pretty much mimic them. Lauren was different. She accepted that she would never be like anyone else. Unlike Natalie, she kept her hair unstraightened, so it looked like mine. She had her own character, and she got along with almost everyone. She actually chose to become close friends with me, though.<\/p>

    I told her how I felt one day.<\/p>

    \u201cEveryone always talks about my hair and stuff. I wish I could go to a different school.\u201d<\/p>

    Lauren replied with her blunt honesty:<\/p>

    \u201cYou should ignore them. I like your hair. And don\u2019t go to another school\u2014I\u2019ll be lonely.\u201d<\/p>

    Repeating her words to myself every day helped me to make it through fourth grade with loads of confidence that I\u2019d never had before. But in fifth grade Lauren moved away, and I was left alone again.<\/p>

    Looking back now, I realize that the right thing to do would have been to continue living the way I was, with my own identity. But, ironically, I didn\u2019t feel I could do it without Lauren.<\/p>

    I went back to the way I had been before, only now I didn\u2019t just try to fade into the background, I tried to fit in. I did everything I saw everyone else doing. I sucked my lips in.<\/p>

    I slouched. I acted dumb in class. I even asked my mother if I could get my hair relaxed like Natalie\u2019s. She said no, but I later asked for extensions, which she considered. I thought I fit in as much as I could. I still got made fun of sometimes, but I finally had \u201cfriends.\u201d<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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    SHARE THIS PAGE WITH YOUR FRIENDS<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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    How to be comfortable being yourself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":126,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_canvas","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-209","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-topics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mistertipster.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/209","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mistertipster.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mistertipster.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mistertipster.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mistertipster.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=209"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.mistertipster.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/209\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mistertipster.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/126"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mistertipster.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=209"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mistertipster.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=209"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mistertipster.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=209"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}